“ … I am the carrier of a tribe given to passions, a mass, almost ritual intoxication. Men are in charge, women are subordinate and mean – as if that is their revenge. Homes are dirty, every one of them has a secluded weapon, and close relations are mainly used for missunderstandings and hatred!”
Vidosav Stevanovic, “The Testament”
Lilith in Cancer represents the Grand Mother, the Protector. Family is very important for people with this position of Lilith. The hereditary scheme is very pronounced, the genetic code through the female side – the maternal. These people have good memories, particularly regarding their childhood, their ancestors, parents, school days.
But perhaps the most frustrations are given by Lilith thus positioned. Family secrets surely exist, abandoned children, suffering women, dying at childbirth, slain and raped (Sharon Tate, wife of Roman Polanski, that was killed while pregnant in the massacre of Manson’s gang in her house has LI in Cancer), many vices – especially alcohol (Hendrix, Janis Joplin), houses that are lost, burned, stolen. Those are the events that make a person feel like a stranger in his own family so in his youth he wants only to leave as soon as he can.
With his family and relatives he meets only when someone is in trouble or not even then, while in times of peace relationships can be hard, cold – usually from others toward this person, which is what makes him feel betrayed and deserted by the people closest to him. This is a difficult position that brings suffering and torture always because of someone very close, someone who is under the same roof as this person, whether it is an ill parent, a problematic child or a drunken husband. Here, the relationship of the person with his mother is very important, whether he has one or whether she has (which is frequently the case) died or is living somewhere far away. The mother will sooner or later, through her action, words or deeds hurt the person, make it vulnerable and simultaneously dangerous for any one in the future who betrays his love and dedication. This is the reason men lose their faith in women early on, they get disappointed several times and in their mature years usually have many women in their past. These are people that fear loneliness more than anything and if they do not find what they are looking for in the first half of their life, they go to the extreme and make themselves absolutely unavailable for the emotions of other people, condemning themselves to being lonely and rejected. There is a big capacity here to be forthcoming to the desires of others, to help others, to be useful, but they themselves are incapable of accepting other people’s help. They regularly reject in advance the possibility of accepting help, ready to give but not to accept. Their behaviour attracts and ties to them people with similar needs that can later burden them with their possessive behaviour. The soul is calling on a certain kind of psychic torture from the immediate environment, so women often chose men that will strike fear in their bones, that they will dread and live in teror of . And it will go on until the moment the aversion to being down and subdued, as under the family authority awakens, that once forced them to go away and leave everything, and they will do it again. They sever ties and relationships radically since they abhore true commitment. The first pregnancy often ends in abortion. As mothers these women are more cold and on a distance with their children, they reject breastfeeding them and they do not give touch, they do not cuddle and show emotions, but instead strive to teach them to be resilient, persistent, disciplined and their own. And all of this because they know that these children will one day leave them and go their own way.
In a sexual relationship there are frequent misunderstandings and uncertainties because of their irrationaly strong fear of rejection. As there were sexual scandals in the past of the family, dramatic situations are a regular occurence here, in more difficult cases there are many threats and dangers within the home and family. Here only drama can activate the long suppressed libido. Otherwise, women will gladly give pleasure to others, while they will deny it to themselves, while men will sooner opt for “easy” women, prostitutes, relationships of which they are sure that not even the slightest hint of emotions will appear ( Larry Flynt, owner of “Hustler” and a big pornographic house).
This position of Lilith can bring certain problems with inheritance or apartments. Wholeheartedly helping others this person gains surreal strength. On the other hand, it will always be dissatissfied and bitter because it gives more than it receives. The soul is soaked in suffering and fear, especially of losing people close to her over which she daily thinks and fears, which was best described by E.M.Remark that has Lilith positioned here. This position is good for the media and brings popularity and fame.
Yuriy Gagarin has this position, John Wayne, Humphrey Bogart, Steffi Graff, Bobby Fisher, Catherine Zeta-Jones, as well as the famous talk show anchor, Larry King that ascended to fame by provoking his guests, reminding them of the most vulnerable moments of their lives, Branko Miljkovic, Frederico Garcia Lorka, Douglas Adams, Damon Hill.
I have this lilith, I would say I am a little mentally detached from my son, because I know one day we won’t be together, but not to the extreme where I won’t hug and kiss him, maybe it depends on the placement of the other planets in your chart…but all of this described above is pretty accurate
I have this lilith and much of it sounds accurate, though frankly horrifying. I’m especially concerned because my lilith (19.12º) is conjunct with my sun (16.11º) and jupiter (17.27º) in Cancer in the 11th house and I have no idea whether this has the potential to be empowering or catastrophic.
I have the same! But in the 5th house and tighter conjunction.
This was 50/50 for me. I love having kids and am super present and breastfed all 3 past 3 years.
Ya so this all sounds accurite. I have a stepmom who is just…terrible! If i talk she gets mad… if i dont talk she gets more mad and says im “sassing her” so ya lose lose. the only wrong thing is where it says i need a close relationship with my mom cause shes gone a lot, well shes here a lot but always sides with my stepmom!(their lesbians!) i guess in a way that makes her far away cause i dont talk to her much.otherwise good
For so long I have felt that there has been a void in the relationship between my mother and I. I always wondeted why she treated me like just another female and not her daughter, torturing me emotionally and testing and playing games on me like I am a circus monkey. after reading this article I have a better understanding of this phenomenon in my life
Holy Shiz…. I have lilith in Cancer… It’s scary how accurate the second paragraph is…holy crap, I’m still in shock and I’ve read this article 3 times already..
Hopefully other aspects in my chart allow me to be a more nurturing mother, I feel like it might, I have so much love to give, and this aspect. blech. I wish it really didn’t exist in my chart.
Well my parents don’t love each other but they love me, more than anything and are still together(Indian marriage crap).
I’m not really worried about this because, my mom and I, with our misunderstandings (coneventional/ unconventional) we still are close. I have strong Aquarius Neptune Pluto and saturn influences but my mum has the overly emotional signs in her chart.
I do have a problem with intimacy but I’m still quite young and a late bloomer on the dating scene. I know well enough that I am not attracted to the ‘bad boy’ kind. I prefer intellectuals over ‘hotties’ anyday.
Wooow, I find myself so much in your situation! Even if my parents get along, everything else you said it describing my current situation too. I also have saturne trine pluto and my neptune is in Aquarius and I have the same problem with my mom but we have however a strong bond and I tottaly subscribe to the whole „intelectual type“ thing. Wow, this is quite scary. Are you born in april 96 or around this perios ?
You’re wrong. Your Lilith interpretations are wrong.
Yes, you have SOME things accurate. But, the rest is INaccurate, because you are a very sick individual who refuses to embrace that MOST people mean to be good, that MOST people are not bad, that MOST people are not out to get you. By the way you and some others interpret Lilith it means every human on the planet is a terrible person, because every human on the planet has a Lilith, and you guys are writing interpetations for EVERY Lilith that indicates a terrible person. That’s not reality. Which makes you literally insane, and completely unreliable as an astrologer.
You clearly want everyone to be messed up. You want everyone to suffer, to prolong their suffering, and to cause suffering unto others. You’re a sadist. Anyone who pays such a demented, abusive person for astrology is a massochist.
Try with my MOon posts if you want to see goodness.
Lilith is dark side – and none of us (thnaks God) live Lilith in complete way. Lilith is not so important as Moon, Sun, Venus, and other personal planets.
Lilith is more some archetype which lives inside us – throug our genetic, roots, family… and much more position of Lilith describes what happened in the past of our family, long time ago – and not what happened to us. This is what they leave us to handle. To digg right here! This is our break point, weak point, where our impulses live, Id…
All those articles I wrote long time ago, maybe 7-8 years from now, and some things I would change.. There is one new text about Lilith which I wrote two years ago, but only in Serbian… http://www.sanjaperic.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/Sensa-22-Pri%C4%8Da-o-Lilit.pdf
Thank you so dearly for this reply comment. I felt deeply saddened to read this dark, bleak description of my Lilith. I struggled after many years of being suicidal and finally worked through a 5-year dark night of the soul. In these years of darkness, I’ve learned to love myself and accept my mother’s role in shaping my compassion for myself and others. Although this description is quite true in many ways, it is the embodiment I’ve learned to bring nurture to. I wish this description included some potential positive realities for learning to peaceful coexist with a Lilith in Cancer.
Overall, however, I’m immensely grateful for the tremendous insights of your work. I refer people to your writings often because your understanding of how astrology influences the human soul is profound. Thank you for sharing your gift with us all!
This is pretty spot on for me, but not entirely dark.
My mother is a bully and still sabotages me out of jealousy, so as a result I don’t really trust or like women. The step grandmothers and women that have married into the immediate family are all fiends from hell. I’ve always had problems with friendships; they end in the most bizarre ways and betrayals are common. Even as a child I never played mommy with my dolls or little kids and never desired children. I do like them to an extent,but I’m not good with them and they scare me in some ways.
Gosh, this is pretty accurate. I do have an uncomfortable relationship with my mother. I love her dearly, but I have always felt that she wasn’t motherly enough. Like she would put her wants and desires before her children, even if it was at the expense of her children. Most of the traumatic events suffered in childhood were because of the decisions she made. She has always been somewhat distant. And it’s so weird because I have the feeling that I wont be a good mother, or I just never had the desire to be a mother. I always thought it was because of how my mom was towards me, but I guess now I can attribute it to my Lilith being in Cancer! Also, my Lilith is in the third house, which deals with siblings. And I remember as a kid, and sometimes to this day, I would dream about my sister dying. A lot of times I would dream that our mother would abandon us, and then I would be faced with the responsibility of taking care of my sister, and then she would end up dying, and every time I would wake up sobbing. So weird because the third house says that I may have suffered the death of a sister or brother early in life, which I have not, but I always worry about her safety. And I have run myself into the ground trying to make sure that she was doing well, especially since she has been recovering from a life a partying and drugs. And of course I feel that this isn’t reciprocated, and most the time we are fighting anyway.
The last part regarding fear of loosing somebody was to me, accurate but honestly I dont have any problem with kids. I mean I’m working everyday with little kids at my job I raised my little sister (she’s 9 years younger than me and besides my mother I dont have any other familly )so I learned from an early age how to deal with them. I’m defenetly not distant ,maybe sometimes I tend to be overfocused on specific activities but I always tried to get into their own little universe and to understand them,to see the life from their point of view and to guide them.Childhood was the best part of my life,not like I’m complaining my current state but I have a lot of great memories from back then. It’s true though that sometimes I get angry too easily but I think I learned to control my anger prrety well and if I cant hold it in I just leave the room or retreat somewhere I can be alone until the storm passes. I never let others see me when I’m angry :))) I dont want to scare them cuz I get easily angry but this „fire“ extincts just as easily and I fogive super easy. I always encouraged them and helped them raise their self confidence because that’s what my mother used to do to me and the kids are usually verry open to me.I should maybe mention that I work at a volunteering center as a social assistent and I have to work with kids who have little possibilities or familly problems,and a few with medical problems. I have lilith in cancer(29°53′) in 10th house,no conjunctions or squares or anything else and I also dont have any other childhood problems except my father’s death when I was three. I agree that I have a hard time expressing some emotions out of the fear of not looking weak but regarding my mother I have no problems with her whatsoever. The only difference that rises sometimes problems id that she is 42 y.older than me so we may have different opinions but we’re okay. She is my model in life,and these are not just empty words and she’s my greatest supporter.She’s aries just like me so we like to argue a lot but we still love each other and at the end of the day we’re always laughing to release the eventual daily tension. We also have a great intelectual compatibility and she’s a great disscusion partener and is her that I’m so afraid of not loosing. So your article is partially accurate and defenetly scared me regarding my future.
Sorry for my silly grammar mistakes, I just wrote the comment in rush and I mistaped some words.
I do not have lilith in Cancer and have read a few of your descriptions. While being eloquent and incisive, your descriptions are not uplifting but rather condemning; introducing negative elements into the psyche of the reader. This kind of astrology is oppressive and down-pressing which is a shame as I feel you have the ability to uplift others with softer, more compassionate descriptions.
theres definitely something to this, although it was depressing to read and have it articulated this way. I was born into a situation where my mother was not in my life after the age of about 1, I was raised with grandparents, she is there but on the outskirts of my life,and we have no relationship. she never dealt with the trauma surrounding my birth etc. and I guess I didn’t blame her , but its certainly been a source of confusion and sometimes pain in my life. I consider that I have rose above that situation though and I don’t sit around and cry and grieve over it.
with apts I don’t think ive had it that easy there either, although now my apartment is fine . I am definitely not emotionally unavailable if anything all the family issues just made me want to connect and love someone even more, to start over and have a normal traditional life with someone. fear of rejection, very real and I don’t know why I guess it stems from that first rejection from my parents, the somewhat detached emotional environment I grew up in also , not that I wasn’t loved, but I feel all this is something people can overcome.
Sara,I have question.My hair color is dark brown/black. I want to dye my hair into dark red / bugurndy. I don’t want to bleaching my hair.I want to use permanent dye. I live in Indonesia. Commonly available brands are L’oreal and Garnier. Do you have any suggestions, what color suit me? And which products are right for me and should I use?I also want to have a few streaks/highlights in my hair with bright colors. Such as blonde, or whatever fits.I don’t know if it matters, but my skin is yellow Asia. So it might be to adjust the color of my hair.Thank you so much
That’s a nicely made answer to a challenging question
I told my kids we’d play after I found what I needed. Damnit.
It’s a pleasure to find someone who can identify the issues so clearly
This is frighteningly accurate. The women in my life have always achieved success through manipulating literally anyone. My mother even had the nerve to leave me in another country all alone when I was barely a teenager. She always had this diabolical need to keep everyones secrets under wraps but I always felt a paranormal presence of them, a sort of inclined institution that makes me hate being around her. Sometimes sitting in the car near my mother is like a bat being flashed a light onto. My father would cheat the drinking rule, but my mother would bury herself in our things, allowing everyone to act as volcanos in an everlasting war. It was always dark though, sometimes my mom would manipulate in my favor, eventually we always found our way to comfort. And my whole life is a secret with her. As for my sex life, I only have one night stands when I travel to other countries, I feel like it’s much more exciting to be like a spontaneous comet, and the performance is entirely disgraceful but everyone wants to do it.
I have Lilith in Cancer,my mom died when i was 4 and most of what you wrote is true!! i am so impressed!!
Jaw-droppingly accurate. Scary. Something else I noticed reading the comments – most of us seem to have certain things in common (horrible problems with our mothers especially it seems). Good work, thank you!
Amazingly accurate, it totally describes my situation past and present. Thank you.
This is spot on. ;___; And sad. I found the love I yearned for…
First, capitulation of astrologers to such limited terminology of „woman“ and „man“ is quite literally the theoretical negation of the core belief of astrology, which happens to exactly-mirror alchemy: as above so below, as within so without. There is an undeniable presence of gender that is not at all, even not merely „man“ nor „woman,“ undefined and more, that is here, below, within, but not replicated in your work above or without. Your work is without accuracy then, and I behoove you to do the proper work to be gender-inclusive with greater ease, and do the mental work of not capitulating especially to laziness in grappling with the chaotic entity of ‘essence’ that „gender“ is made to be part of.
Second, this means your perspective is wrong. Commenters above have mentioned how you ‘dog’ this placement — you should read this over and over until you read the negative bias you have. Did a Cancer Lilith cause you harm? Don’t answer that for me, if you feel inclined to answer. There is little emphasis on a Cancer Lilith as a „Protector,“ and overemphasis on Cancer Lilith as „condemning,“ „incapable,“ „torture,“ „dread“ and „terror“ … Perhaps you see yourself as a messenger, but for you to invoke such dogmatic, prescriptive outcomes for what is quite literally an unsung present, suggests discrimination toward Cancer Liliths, water placements, Cardinal placements, detriment or as I call them the misnomer „working“ placements (misnomer because all placements are „working“) …
Third, focus instead on astrology that uplifts, as another commentor said. Focus on „surreal strength“ and empathy and the ability to learn through emotions so easily …