English

Eclipse, Scorpio and the Zambezi

Translation: Maja Miskovic

Eclipse
(R.Waters, Pink Floyd)

All that you touch
All that you see
All that you taste
All you feel.
All that you love
All that you hate
All you distrust
All you save.
All that you give
All that you deal
All that you buy,
beg, borrow or steal.
All you create
All you destroy
All that you do
All that you say.
All that you eat
And everyone you meet
All that you slight
And everyone you fight.
All that is now
All that is gone
All that’s to come
and everything under the sun is in tune
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon.

6c0cf7e5b08416fcb393ba5346977178The current eclipse is in Scorpio. Interestingly, as soon as there is a word out there that something is happening in Scorpio (Saturn is currently there as well) people automatically get into the panic mode. A long time ago somebody said that Scorpio means DEATH and FEAR. Many would say that the fear of death is the root of all fears and that the torrent of Scorpio rivers carries all other fears as well. This is the deluge of obsessions, shivers, and helplessness whereupon we ask the most banal question there is: “how long is this going to last and when is it going to end?”

Why is this question meaningless? Because nothing ever ends. It just transforms. Everything lasts until the change happens. Life doesn’t end; it just changes its form. Of course, in the moment of death, all ends in the physical plane and all of this world is gone, alongside the terribly deep fear of dying that is the cause of all fears of change. Because the biggest of all changes is really death.

And just because death is change, it is associated with Scorpio. Not because it hurts, nor because we erect tombstones, nor because this death is incomprehensible from human perspective. Actually, we are not afraid of this Scorpio-marked death. It is the kind of death we philosophize and theorize about. This death seduces quantum physicists to control the energy, to tame it and get to know it. Easterners call it karma and Christians talk about the return of the dead – something like the return of the zombie, as child’s perception is able to grasp. I’ve recently baptized a wise 8-year-old. She looked at the frescoes on the walls of Saint Rose church and asked, “Sanja, why is this man carrying a head of another man on the plate?” I know it was the story of John the Baptist’s beheading, but my inner child spoke up, “I have no idea!” Perhaps the image was a bit exaggerated: a thinly disguised aggression even on the saints’ faces.

But this aggression is visible everywhere, on the news headlines, or when someone is glad that he doesn’t live in New York City, hit by the hurricane Sandy, or when someone draws a comfort from the fact that her life is better than the life of the poorest on this planet, or is telling himself that it’s alright not to have money for a fancy car when hearing on the news that young people got killed in a car accident, or is cool when the rich end up badly – “I told you so!” – all these are fears we inherited from previous generations and manifestations of muted evil that finds solace in somebody else’s tragedy. I remember my elementary school textbooks full of stories in which the poor prevail and the rich fall tragically, where the ungainly and the ugly (Cinderella, the Ugly Duckling) become heroes and their opposites meet bad destiny. Luckily, it doesn’t work that way. Cinderella and her three sisters are the same person. Each of us. Just as the Ugly Duckling and the beautiful swans are the same person. Or the Snow White and her step-mother.

Yin and Yang.

Black and white, male and female, good and “bad.” I have to put bad in quotation marks, because bad is not evil. Like an abandoned child, the evil lives and suffers in Scorpio’s depth. Look at a flower: its color, its tender petals, its enchanting scent. Now go to Google Images and type in “flowers.” You’ll find countless beautiful photos that would inspire you, soften you up. Yes, but it’s only the white part of Yin and Yang. What about the black one? No flower is without a root. It’s just that the root is invisible. It is like someone or something we disown, deem unacceptable, ugly, or hated. The root is not pretty, it runs deep in the soil, out of site, with the power to absorbs and therefore destruct. yin_yang_tree_of_life_black_white_wall_clock-r02ee019cb2824303b7e0ad88bc42c315_fup13_8byvr_512Imagine now you go to Google Images and instead of “flowers” look up the “roots.”  It’s less inspirational, isn’t it, and it would be weird to visit a friend and see a painting of roots instead of flowers hanging on the walls. Wouldn’t you think, what’s wrong this person?

But ask any gardener, what is a root? Root is life.

And so is Scorpio – not death but life. The life created from destruction. It is from Scorpio that we gather creativity. Scorpio is the biggest wisdom, since it deals with the eternal, the indestructible, and the secret of transformation.

We are all afraid of our true strength, our real image in the mirror. So now, with Saturn in Scorpio, it is, above all, a sad picture of what we call “evil.” This darkness in us that ails and suffers. Left alone for a long time, unseen and unheard, it’s here, showing its face. After hurricane Sandy hit New York City, I saw the footage of caskets floating in the cemetery. My immediate thought was a Christian version of “the return of the dead,” but it was also Saturn in Scorpio, which will bring to the surface our individual darkness. Don’t delude yourself that you are free of darkness or free of evil. The good-evil antagonism is older than anything we can see and remember of this world. Perhaps the evil wouldn’t be so cruel in its manifestation if only we didn’t force ourselves to be so good, but acknowledge instead that we all carry the seed of evil when we say, “Americans will get what they deserve!” or when my client asks, “Is he ever going to suffer over me?” I ask back if she is aware that she actually said how the evil would console her – the evil she wishes upon other human being. But this is an achievement, sort of. She allowed herself a Freudian descendance into subconsciousness and acknowledgement that evil is a human affair. Only on this conscious crossroad the fight between the good and the evil is possible. Only here can she understand her helplessness and move forward. This realization could make her sad, deeply sad that she can’t do anything but obsess over miserly plans, stalk a man she thinks she loves, or wish him ill. But she can evolve more than somebody who claims that he never had an evil thought. This inner struggle could be certainly overcome, but there isn’t a single man or a woman who is not capable of calling upon his or her own evil. There is a reason for the necessity of comprehending the evil within us. And the reason is our very survival.

Interestingly, once this process of becoming more conscious begins, you are more responsible and careful with words. You notice the words people utter, you spot the evil not to say, “Aha, you are evil!” but to point to their helplessness.

Evil is life itself. There is an interesting game Lila – The Game of Self-Knowing, where level one denotes the basics of creation (equal to our first phase of life between the ages of 0-7). The main matrices in this game are: Beginning, Maya (Illusion), Anger, Greed, Self-Deception, Vanity, and Gluttony. Yes, all children posses these traits. They are present from our own beginnings. And if they are here, they must have a purpose, right? You probably know that the children – and babies in particular – can survive what adults can’t. They are intent on surviving! They haven’t acquired a luxury of a mind that contemplates suicide nor they reached sensory indolence and are ready to quit. That comes later, when they grow up. In order to survive, to adapt to circumstances and times, we need the eight sign of Scorpio. Scorpio manifests itself in the times of crises as bravery, craziness even, as the strength to survive manifold calamities. Scorpio saved concentration camp survivors, warriors and prisoners. The absence of death fear is willingness to be brave and have a strong faith in life. This is when we risk. This is when we save our skin, not out of fear but out of determination to live. See the difference.

So let’s make a deal: This eclipse is going to be felt not for a single day but for at least a couple of months. Turn inward. When you sense spite and evil, let the helplessness and fear surface, and from that fear leap into sadness, the sadness that comes from realization that we don’t have control in and over life. This place of fear is where the futile urge to control not only life but also other people comes from. The rivers are wild and the rivers are always Scorpio. It’s not the same swimming in the Zambezi or in your local tiny river. Of course, the small river could be dangerous too but there are no swimmers in the Zambezi. Whether you are ever going to find your own Zambezi – it depends solely on you. We all have the power of the rivers– its might, its strength – within us. And this is Scorpio as well. We are powerless, but life is powerful. Some will remain swimming in their tiny river, which will eventually dry out, the same way their life will dry out. This means you live your life but are dead within. The more you are dead, the greater the fear of life. And death itself becomes a solace. What disrespect toward the given, toward life! Be that river that carries you, that you cannot tame, only abandon yourself to it so that the best of you, which we call creation and birthing, can rise to the surface, where you wear yourself out and yet cannot be worn out.

Two years ago the world entered the final phase where the contrasts between the rich and the poor, between the material and the spiritual are more and more prominent. For each new shopping mall out there, there is a new church or spiritual place. If we want to be well we need both. We need to be the Zambezi.

So, that’s what this eclipse is about – getting to know this river through fears and obsessions. And those who have already stroked the beast within and found their own long forgotten self full of fury, vanity, greed and angst, can live more freely now. You must see your roots and your ugly part. That disgusting self carefully kept from the outside view. You must face your Mr. Hyde, ‘coz Dr. Jekyll is getting a bit boring.

And then you’ll realize that the evil was never evil. The main character from Dostoyevsky’s Notes from Underground says, “They made me evil! I only wanted to be good!” Yes. Measured in human comprehension, we become “evil” when our helplessness blocks us from crossing the Zambezi, which carries fears, obsessions, shivers and fevers over people and events we cannot control.  Instead of understanding that such control is impossible and that you don’t have to answer to anybody for anything, you chained yourself to your fantasies and made yourself responsible to your ego. And the more the ego has the power over you, the more difficult it is to shed your old self. Ego is full of traps. I’ve recently read Osho’s The Book of Ego, where he recounts this anecdote: Alexander the Great requested that when he dies and his casket is carried through the streets, his hands hang out. When asked why, he said, “I want the entire world to know that I, Alexander the Great, the great conqueror, left this world with my hands empty.” This is the conscious ego alive. So be conscious. You cannot control anything. Saturn in Scorpio despises the material inanimate objects. In acquiring the material, Saturn clearly sees the fear of the transient and death. Saturn is the truth about the eternal and sadness of the weakness contained within. Out with it! Be aware and authentic, since for the next three years and during this eclipse, people and events will easily trigger the most helpless you, and you, usually so nice and polite, could react as an aggressive tyrant. And when you finally act out, then you will see that your helplessness is more true to life than any control over it you thought you had. Letting go and giving up, accepting the blows and losses – these are the tasks. And let the chips fall where they may.

And remember, Scorpio is not death. Scorpio is – yes, Scorpio exactly – life that never ends, because in Scorpio nothing ever ends, only changes and transforms.

“There is no dark side of the moon really. Matter of fact it’s all dark.” (Eclipse, Pink Floyd)

written by Aleksandra Sanja Peric, 2012.

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