We live in hard times. We are condemned to fear for our basic existence, to an every day anxiousness that turns into mute indifference through anxiety, an indifference that kills everything. Emotion and joy and desire. So, if you look around you, you will notice many empty eyes, without glow and joy, without even an ounce of thrill that have long lost any purpose or obsession. But it is easy to put the burden of life on the 21st century, the century of deviance in all forms, or on destiny, even on the stars, forgetting that in the depth of each soul, or astrologically, where the sky is falling in the birth chart, in IC, lies the cause of all causes. So, as it is the cradle and source of life, the womb and the egg, it is also the hand that, at age fifteen, eighteen or whenever, pushes us into life, to go toward the MC, toward some “blue star” of our own, a goal, not knowing that precisely as the First house is reflected in the Seventh, and the Fourth (IC) in the Tenth (MC), Zenith is nothing other than a reflection of those who sent us into the world, it is the maximum that we can achieve. Sometimes it is an identical reflection, sometimes distorted, sometimes polished and refined.
The teenager I will write about was born in a devastated country, or at the time when the country once wrapped in brotherhood and unity, started to disintegrate. And as if that was not enough, she was born on March 6th 1991 and she was only three days old when under the windows of the hospital “Dragisa Misovic” tanks passed on their way to the Republic Square. So why can’t we then say that she was born in a war? That she is born to announce what will happen to that country which is a kind of Higher Mother…
So as I just said, the Moon and IC, just like the sign of Cancer, will always show us only the nation, the ambiance in which the personality is born and lives, more correctly from which it originates, where it started to develop, with what beliefs, fears, hopes; for the family is a country in small.
And isn’t Uranus in Capricorn in the Fourth house bombs that will fall from the heights somewhere close to the home, and the NE that as a catterpillar slithers with UR aimed somewhere high represents those tanks that passed by the Delivery room? And the people in those days, years and even today, become the Moon in Scorpio forever, in conjuntion with Pluto, so a kind of tragedy is looming, and soon the country is wrapped in black, being more and more devastated and torn apart. And maybe you will not believe me, but from her chart I am always able to see well what is going on in the country itself, for of the multitude of phenomenons, the image of “mother Serbia” is shown. They murdered Djindjic, Mars in Capricorn on her Uranus in the Fourth house, an assassination in the country. Montenegrins seceded , Saturn on Jupiter in Leo, a wall in the heights of authority, separation, the division of the country, the government, the law…
The beginning of the bombardment, Mars, as Bojana would say “entered the orbit” of the Pluto and Moon conjunction in Scorpio, threats become reality, meaning also fear of the Moon, the fear of a people that it will be in jeopardy, that there will be dead among them, that the long forgotten subterrainian shelters will fill up again, that there will be homeless people…and even more refugees in a country already full of them, and what are refugees if not Uranus in the Fourth, and MO-PL in Scorpio.
And can the Individual in this case be completely separated from the Collective; can we deny all the disollutions and disintegrations that live in the cosmogram; can we see anywhere here the ideal of a country, where life would be completely different, when an almost exact opposition of Jupiter and Saturn exists, that will always drag her, if nothing else, to some island or Africa, where she will cure little black children. (Ruler of ASC in the Sixth in Pisces conj. SO in Pi 120 MO/PL Sc and of course JU 180 SA). And while I ask, it becomes clear to me why her family story must resemble the destiny of the country in which she was born.
And the soul is sleeping, she is sleeping, mainly in the house, or at least that is how it looks like to the mother, who she cannot understand in the beginning, because the mother seems to be hiding something deep inside her. Who am I? The question that this now fifteen year old is asking herself; where are my roots, who do I look like? For Neptune, ruler of the Sun sign, in the greatest depths with Uranus is silent. And why is mother alone, why is she silent, what is she hiding from me. Where is my father? The father is absent because he is SO in Pisces, but he is absent because he is UR in the Fourth, the family is raptured, everyone is going their own way, just as the former Republics have done; are separation and independence my destiny? Has my birth sprung from my mother’s prayer (NE in Fourth) while in tears she prayed to God to give her a child (MO/PL Sc 120 SO/ME Pi), at the time when she had no hope of love anymore, when she was deep in loneliness and only wanted one night of passion to herald my arrival? And that is how it happened, believe it or not, only one night with a stranger, with a man she saw for the first time was enough for conception. A night full of passion and abandon, Venus and Mars want each other, but Mars disappears, leaves, she doesn’t hear about him any more (MA 90 ME)…and years go by without a family. Only a mother that ocassionally calls her motherhood a sin, watching her child wandering and seeking the truth. But the chart says that there will come a day when all must be discussed, when she (ME) will touch her mother’s secret (ME 60 NE 4, ME 120 MO) and when all the weight of pain and loneliness will go from her mother’s face, for if there is anything that can bring confidence between mother and daughter, than it is an open conversation in which the mother talks of her personal drama. And in future, the mother will always confess to her own child, as she would have done earlier before an icon, and the child will never succeed in keeping a secret from her mother, because she doesn’t want to. The same blame and sense of sin are present in the soul, so they bring sadness and disheartedness whenever she would lie, so she will always tell her mother all and no matter how hard she tries to be mysterious, to be closed to others, she already knows that mother is the one who must know or find out all about her. The moment of mutual trust resembles the beginning of understanding your own family, of genesis, as well as of the country she lives in, and from that moment onward she will no longer wonder whether she is adopted and who she belongs to, the veil of mystery is taken off, you can see the identity, so initiated by that, the aspects continue to work, calling now to the father, who had to re-appear sooner or later.
Father is Sun in Pisces and Mars in Gemini and Jupiter in Leo (goldsmith by profession). And as if all the moving around which included a frequent change of schools during her early youth were an unconsious desire to come closer to the father, so now they live almost in the same street. And the mother also has this vision of a perfect home (UR 4), she skillfully builds every new home with her hands, but she always readily leaves it, as if this Neptune is forcing her to seek and wander out of some depths in which guilt and pain live to the end of the city until it unites them again. As if the sin will only then be rectified forever. That is what happened, a chance meeting and a recognition which is inevitable when the father (SO) and she (ASC Virgo, so ME ruler) stand in conjunction one beside the other, I would even guess they dreamed of each other all of those years.
So, where’s the trick in this chart? The trick is to bring together the need of the soul, the deepest, most essential because the need to make the home a sanctity comes from Neptune, and the same about the parents, to make them, especially the mother, the only one that will understand her intuitively, get into the jist of her problems and desires, and other needs that are forced upon her, so that autonomy (UR) becomes a sacred secret, an independence that a person will display from early childhood through rebelliousness. “I can do everything alone, just like my mother, just like my father, I will chose my own school, (she chose her own school, decorated her own room and put up some strings that look like cobwebs from the ceiling (NE/UR in Capricorn in 4), her room is in the attic (UR), “ but I can hardly wait to live alone, when I will have some kind of appartment of my own and in it the absolute individuality in which neither of these two may interfere”.Of course that this moment of secession will resemble the secession of republics from the federation; of course that, despite all good will, the two will stand in her way out of fear that she will relive their experience, since they know the price of individualism, that still live here in spirit and knowledge, that will have it’s chance to dazzle and fascinate in the Uranian way her own parents with her genius.
This is why this is esentially the story of a family that, although it formally doesn’t exist, still awakes a sort of vision and belief in the soul of the child. Father and mother have joined up again, they have, in fact, just as she long believed, been in touch ocassionally, in the moments when her mother would find herself in the greatest drama, in a horrible existential crises, when she was at the bottom of Moon in Scorpio that sees no way out except to wait for death or some kind of end, then, as a misty shadow, the image of the childs father appeared who indeed never refused any help (MO Sc 120 SO Pi), of which she knew nothing for a long time, until an astrologer (that is in her house, and her relative, UR 4) did not reveil it to her, just as her chart dictated (she ME 60 UR/NE) that she must discover the secret about herself from an astrologer, the secret that will awaken hope and create a vision of a new family, and Neptune will cleverly grin, fullfiling the symbolism of the Holy Trinity, not the heavenly one, but the other one made only of the Father, Mother and Child.